“Don’t stop when you feel like quitting, you are at the verge of success.” ~every mentor I come across
When I first began my coaching training, I heard this, and it was encouraging, yet felt so much like a push and drive. In present time, several years later, after years moving forward through determination and passion to help others, OH MY GOSH! I finally made the connection of what this really means!!
So, I feel compelled to share this with you, my fellow hard working, push through, baggy eyed sisters.
So let me start at the beginning. You know when you first learn something new, like riding a bike, or starting a new coaching/mentoring business, or sisterhood circle, there IS a process we all go through, conscious or unconscious.
Unconscious incompetence – you don’t know, what you don’t know and you feel open, and curious.
Conscious incompetence – you are trying to put into action what you know, you feel uncomfortable, frustrated, and overwhelmed at times, and maybe think, “I don’t know if this is for me” or “this is good, but not my style” or something else along those lines.
Unconscious competence – you are embodying what you know, without realizing it, you feel like you’re still searching, and making small steps, and you may feel impatient.
conscious competence – you harmonize what your actions with what you know, and you feel confident, empowered, light, and ease
As you might have guessed, the conscious incompetence stage is the most difficult stage where we feel like quitting, giving up, and throwing in the towel.
Our ego, the survival mechanism to our life, is feeling this change. The pressure of the not being good enough, the drive, the push….all of that is bringing on the high alert for your survival instincts to kick in. It builds and builds, you talk yourself out of quitting, get grounded into your purpose, and then want to quit again, and again. I actually catch myself, shaking my head like a wet dog, because there’s so much overwhelm soaked in my brain.
Once we can be kind to ourselves, honor our learning pace, using loving and supportive words to support our path we chose, we can change this pattern… or at least minimize the inner drama we cause ourselves.
Listen, notice, observe… be still and hear the words that you tell yourself, and even more so, notice how you FEEL. Observe how often this happens, and when it happens.
Then, DECIDE that you will turn this around, and you WILL practice loving kindness with words, and practices for yourself. Make a commitment to yourself. Make sure you talk about your commitment with other people that support this change, that want you to be successful, that honor your way of life!
DON’T give up, when you’re tired of it, take a rest. GIVE IN.
Give into your needs. Give into your pleasures. Give into nurturing yourself. Give into play. Give into what opens and warms your heart, this is the place of creation.
When you’re full of love and life, begin again.