What do you have to be everyday?

YOU HAVE TO BE YOU

 

You can’t fail at being yourself.

Sounds simple, but after many years of living life, I’ve found that more and more, I find that being myself, and finding what I love to do, and how I want to be, is a practice.

Be more of who you are,

less of what society labels us,

and come home to your heart.

When you feel like quitting, Begin again…

“Don’t stop when you feel like quitting, you are at the verge of success.” ~every mentor I come across

When I first began my coaching training, I heard this, and it was encouraging, yet felt so much like a push and drive.  In present time, several years later, after years moving forward through determination and passion to help others, OH MY GOSH!  I finally made the connection of what this really means!!

So, I feel compelled to share this with you, my fellow hard working, push through, baggy eyed sisters.

So let me start at the beginning.  You know when you first learn something new, like riding a bike, or starting a new coaching/mentoring business, or sisterhood circle, there IS a process we all go through, conscious or unconscious.

Unconscious incompetence – you don’t know, what you don’t know and you feel open, and curious.

Conscious incompetence – you are trying to put into action what you know, you feel uncomfortable, frustrated, and overwhelmed at times, and maybe think, “I don’t know if this is for me” or “this is good, but not my style” or something else along those lines.

Unconscious competence – you are embodying what you know, without realizing it, you feel like you’re still searching, and making small steps, and you may feel impatient.

conscious competence – you harmonize what your actions with what you know, and you feel confident, empowered, light, and ease

As you might have guessed, the conscious incompetence stage is the most difficult stage where we feel like quitting, giving up, and throwing in the towel.

Our ego, the survival mechanism to our life, is feeling this change.  The pressure of the not being good enough, the drive, the push….all of that is bringing on the high alert for your survival instincts to kick in.  It builds and builds, you talk yourself out of quitting, get grounded into your purpose, and then want to quit again, and again.  I actually catch myself, shaking my head like a wet dog, because there’s so much overwhelm soaked in my brain.

Once we can be kind to ourselves, honor our learning pace, using loving and supportive words to support our path we chose, we can change this pattern… or at least minimize the inner drama we cause ourselves.

Listen, notice, observe…  be still and hear the words that you tell yourself, and even more so, notice how you FEEL.  Observe how often this happens, and when it happens.

Then, DECIDE that you will turn this around, and you WILL practice loving kindness with words, and practices for yourself.  Make a commitment  to yourself.  Make sure you talk about your commitment with other people that support this change, that want you to be successful, that honor your way of life!

DON’T give up, when you’re tired of it, take a rest.  GIVE IN.

Give into your needs.  Give into your pleasures. Give into nurturing yourself. Give into play. Give into what opens and warms your heart, this is the place of creation.

When you’re full of love and life, begin again.

Feeling Through the Hard Stuff

In this moment, I’m in the shadows, the darkness of the subconsciousness of my mind.  This is the place where my hidden self lives, and I know this.

I feel it, but I can’t bring it forth with conciousness.

What lies in the dark corners of my ego, are the hurt and the pain that was masked by “I’m ok, I can handle this, I’m strong, I can do this!”  A sheer forceful drive, that drove this pain into the darkness in the first place.

But right now, I’m ready.

I’m ready to slowly, and compassionately, give myself the space to naturally allow the fear, the abuse, and the violence to resurface.

NOT to blame, NOT to be the victim, but to RECLAIM my body, my right to take up space, my right to say NO, and not feel like I’m a bad person.

Feeling the hard stuff

When I say NO:

I say YES to my truth, to my soul, to my life.

I say YES to honoring what the past is teaching me

I say YES to honoring my own power now

I say YES to honoring the vision that my anscestors lay before me.

 

This is bigger than what I can see, than what is tangible.  This is what is unseen, unheard, untouched, but deeply felt in to the depths my soul.

Allowing my emotions to flow, while observing it, like a curious scientist, observing an experiment.  Observing without judging myself, observing with compassion, observing with love and nurturing in my heart.

I am embarking on a journey to my truth, where the forest will be thick, dark,  and filled with monsters and demons, all filters of disillusionment from the past.  I will commit to devoting my energy to keep moving forward, because it is my birth right.

What is your birth right you want to reclaim?

 

 

What impatience taught me

I’m at work and receive an email from a vendor who is confused about the shipping information on my order.  Mind you, I’ve been working with this person for several years and we’ve done this at least a hundred times!

So naturally, I’m irritated 😤 and impatient with this question….. as more work piles.

I begin to notice my impatience, feeling the tension building up from my heart, feeling hostility flowing upward and wanting to fire out through my fingers as I ferociously start to reply.

Then,     I PAUSE.

I take a deep, slow breathe, and inwardly ask, what is creating this feeling of impatience?  Answer: I want to get this done, and move on….

Why?  Answer: Because I want to get all this stuff done, so I don’t have to do it anymore.

Why don’t you want to do it?  Answer: Because I’m not enjoying this!

BAM 💥 INSIGHT!

I’m not enjoying what I’m doing, I’m just getting it done.

But, I choose to spend my time there everyday.  So, if it’s my choice…I can do one of two things, chooose to  spend my time somewhere else, doing something enjoyable,

OR,

I can find what is enjoyable for me right now.

I choose now.  I chose to empower myself in the moment, rather than after this or when …. (fill in the blank)

I chose to free my mind from my own shackles. To enjoy what I can, even from the daily frustrations of life.

Choose to have a choice!IMG_0003

 

 

The truth about Truth

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Divine guidance from my journal

My branding mentor said this on our call today….

You have to be TRUE to yourself, in order to speak the TRUTH.

Throughout my life I tried to be a honest as I could.  Being true to yourself means saying yes to the things that light you up and no to the things that drain you.  Stop people pleasing, and trying to please everyone else first.

Truth is the soul truth, what’s true in your heart.  

As you go on your life path, your soul is transforming and the truth of who you were before, also changes to the truth of who you are now.  So to honor that, you must be flexible in your thinking and flow with your heart.

Ever feel like you’re out of place?

“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.” ~ Anais Nin

Sitting at the stop light, waiting for the light to turn green on my way to a job that is less than inspiring, feeling stressed thinking about the day ahead, I see this weed growing out of the concrete sidewalk in the middle of nowhere.

I find myself identifying… with this weed..that I see.

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At times I feel like a weed, an outsider, growing and struggling to survive in a place that is… less than nurturing and less than optimal conditions for me, to thrive in MY own natural ways.. (Maybe that’s why I’m short! Lol)

At times I feel like a weed, growing wildly, so fast, and some seeing my value as useless. Yet, somehow I bring life, oxygen, tenderness, and warmth to a place that is rigid, hard, and cold.

At times I feel like a weed, living….No, SURVIVING! Growing out of the earth, through an environment that is so less than optimal for a young girl. Yet, I survive. I survive the struggle, the toxic pollution, the uncaring passerbys , as I choke and gasp for air, for a reason , for a purpose to live.

Years of life as weed,

growing and flourishing,

I transform into a blooming flower.

with-love-1315347-1279x852All my years
I saw myself as a weed
Growing wildly among strangers
I was a budding flower!
Waiting to reveal my truth
to open my petals
and Blossom

~Stacy Feliciano

 

What’s the BIG idea about “boundaries”?

natural-boundaries

Having boundaries has become such a buzz nowadays. Some people love boundaries while others believe that it’s not necessary. Thinking about having boundaries can seem, well, uncaring and selfish.

Many articles talk about having healthy boundaries, and to stand up for yourself. If this brings on anxiety, or thoughts that this will make you become unavailable, unsympathetic, and just not caring, then keep reading.

What if boundaries meant that you were honoring someone else’s mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual energy? That by respecting someone else’s thoughts, feelings, space, and beliefs, you have created a golden boundary, built of deep love and respect.

When we embrace the fact that everyone is unique, yet, we are all on this journey together, boundaries naturally arise from a deep source. That source moves through you and nurtures, nourishes and supports the other person’s state being.

So the BIG idea is… boundaries supports us to create deep, meaningful relationships through embracing individuality on all levels, with respect that nourishes our life condition and the vibration we send out into the world.
~from my heart to yours

A Practice to Overcoming Fear

We hear a lot about over coming our limiting beliefs, but what exactly are limiting beliefs?  Before my coaching journey, I’d thought of my fears as just some primal instinct, that I could rationalize and push through, since that’s what I’ve done all of these years anyways.
As I came upon my last mentor coaching session, where I would be evaluated to see if I was up to par on my skills to take the oral exam, I found myself terrified! I have this logical side of me, and that inner voice was like, “What am I so afraid of?  I’ve been coaching for over a year now, and saw how my clients really got results.”  But yet the fear was still in me.  In taking on this exam, I wanted to be totally authentic in my skill as a coach, and not just acting like a coach, but really integrating coaching skills to my view of the world and how I interact with others on a daily basis.
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Finding the LIGHT at the end of fear.
The first thing I did was to allow the flood of fear to rush forward, and to allow all the negative, scared voices to speak. My logical mind listened for clues.  I found that  my fear stemmed from a childhood belief.  I survived my early years of my life, by saying exactly what my father wanted to hear.  I learned to read him, and know what he was fishing for, and I gave it to him.  Whenever I’d try to express my fears, or other feelings, he’d tell me that  no one wanted to know how I felt, no one cares.  I would hide my face in my pillow and ball my eyes out.  This way of interacting with others became my pattern and stayed with me for a long time.
Secondly, once I realized that and allowed the pain to release out of me, that means crying and writing for me.  Then I created an affirmation to counter that belief, “People do want to hear what I have to say, and they do care.”  I say this to myself every morning when I wake up and I just lay in bed and say this positive words and allow a feeling of ease to flow through me.
Lastly, I notice when, I want to say something but hesitate, and I realize people might want to or need to hear what I have to say, and that it could be a gift for them.  And so, I courageously speak from my heart as a gift that can be received or respectfully declined.
And so, if you are struggling with fears and limiting beliefs, take a deep breath and release….  I invite you to allow those feelings to flow, listen with compassion to you inner voices, and create a positive practice for yourself, whether it be writing, affirmations, yoga, running, painting, etc.
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Gift yourself with compassion and see how the benefits ripple out through your beautiful soul!