Feeling Through the Hard Stuff

In this moment, I’m in the shadows, the darkness of the subconsciousness of my mind.  This is the place where my hidden self lives, and I know this.

I feel it, but I can’t bring it forth with conciousness.

What lies in the dark corners of my ego, are the hurt and the pain that was masked by “I’m ok, I can handle this, I’m strong, I can do this!”  A sheer forceful drive, that drove this pain into the darkness in the first place.

But right now, I’m ready.

I’m ready to slowly, and compassionately, give myself the space to naturally allow the fear, the abuse, and the violence to resurface.

NOT to blame, NOT to be the victim, but to RECLAIM my body, my right to take up space, my right to say NO, and not feel like I’m a bad person.

Feeling the hard stuff

When I say NO:

I say YES to my truth, to my soul, to my life.

I say YES to honoring what the past is teaching me

I say YES to honoring my own power now

I say YES to honoring the vision that my anscestors lay before me.

 

This is bigger than what I can see, than what is tangible.  This is what is unseen, unheard, untouched, but deeply felt in to the depths my soul.

Allowing my emotions to flow, while observing it, like a curious scientist, observing an experiment.  Observing without judging myself, observing with compassion, observing with love and nurturing in my heart.

I am embarking on a journey to my truth, where the forest will be thick, dark,  and filled with monsters and demons, all filters of disillusionment from the past.  I will commit to devoting my energy to keep moving forward, because it is my birth right.

What is your birth right you want to reclaim?

 

 

What impatience taught me

I’m at work and receive an email from a vendor who is confused about the shipping information on my order.  Mind you, I’ve been working with this person for several years and we’ve done this at least a hundred times!

So naturally, I’m irritated 😤 and impatient with this question….. as more work piles.

I begin to notice my impatience, feeling the tension building up from my heart, feeling hostility flowing upward and wanting to fire out through my fingers as I ferociously start to reply.

Then,     I PAUSE.

I take a deep, slow breathe, and inwardly ask, what is creating this feeling of impatience?  Answer: I want to get this done, and move on….

Why?  Answer: Because I want to get all this stuff done, so I don’t have to do it anymore.

Why don’t you want to do it?  Answer: Because I’m not enjoying this!

BAM 💥 INSIGHT!

I’m not enjoying what I’m doing, I’m just getting it done.

But, I choose to spend my time there everyday.  So, if it’s my choice…I can do one of two things, chooose to  spend my time somewhere else, doing something enjoyable,

OR,

I can find what is enjoyable for me right now.

I choose now.  I chose to empower myself in the moment, rather than after this or when …. (fill in the blank)

I chose to free my mind from my own shackles. To enjoy what I can, even from the daily frustrations of life.

Choose to have a choice!IMG_0003

 

 

The truth about Truth

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Divine guidance from my journal

My branding mentor said this on our call today….

You have to be TRUE to yourself, in order to speak the TRUTH.

Throughout my life I tried to be a honest as I could.  Being true to yourself means saying yes to the things that light you up and no to the things that drain you.  Stop people pleasing, and trying to please everyone else first.

Truth is the soul truth, what’s true in your heart.  

As you go on your life path, your soul is transforming and the truth of who you were before, also changes to the truth of who you are now.  So to honor that, you must be flexible in your thinking and flow with your heart.

Ever feel like you’re out of place?

“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.” ~ Anais Nin

Sitting at the stop light, waiting for the light to turn green on my way to a job that is less than inspiring, feeling stressed thinking about the day ahead, I see this weed growing out of the concrete sidewalk in the middle of nowhere.

I find myself identifying… with this weed..that I see.

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At times I feel like a weed, an outsider, growing and struggling to survive in a place that is… less than nurturing and less than optimal conditions for me, to thrive in MY own natural ways.. (Maybe that’s why I’m short! Lol)

At times I feel like a weed, growing wildly, so fast, and some seeing my value as useless. Yet, somehow I bring life, oxygen, tenderness, and warmth to a place that is rigid, hard, and cold.

At times I feel like a weed, living….No, SURVIVING! Growing out of the earth, through an environment that is so less than optimal for a young girl. Yet, I survive. I survive the struggle, the toxic pollution, the uncaring passerbys , as I choke and gasp for air, for a reason , for a purpose to live.

Years of life as weed,

growing and flourishing,

I transform into a blooming flower.

with-love-1315347-1279x852All my years
I saw myself as a weed
Growing wildly among strangers
I was a budding flower!
Waiting to reveal my truth
to open my petals
and Blossom

~Stacy Feliciano

 

What’s the BIG idea about “boundaries”?

natural-boundaries

Having boundaries has become such a buzz nowadays. Some people love boundaries while others believe that it’s not necessary. Thinking about having boundaries can seem, well, uncaring and selfish.

Many articles talk about having healthy boundaries, and to stand up for yourself. If this brings on anxiety, or thoughts that this will make you become unavailable, unsympathetic, and just not caring, then keep reading.

What if boundaries meant that you were honoring someone else’s mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual energy? That by respecting someone else’s thoughts, feelings, space, and beliefs, you have created a golden boundary, built of deep love and respect.

When we embrace the fact that everyone is unique, yet, we are all on this journey together, boundaries naturally arise from a deep source. That source moves through you and nurtures, nourishes and supports the other person’s state being.

So the BIG idea is… boundaries supports us to create deep, meaningful relationships through embracing individuality on all levels, with respect that nourishes our life condition and the vibration we send out into the world.
~from my heart to yours

A Practice to Overcoming Fear

We hear a lot about over coming our limiting beliefs, but what exactly are limiting beliefs?  Before my coaching journey, I’d thought of my fears as just some primal instinct, that I could rationalize and push through, since that’s what I’ve done all of these years anyways.
As I came upon my last mentor coaching session, where I would be evaluated to see if I was up to par on my skills to take the oral exam, I found myself terrified! I have this logical side of me, and that inner voice was like, “What am I so afraid of?  I’ve been coaching for over a year now, and saw how my clients really got results.”  But yet the fear was still in me.  In taking on this exam, I wanted to be totally authentic in my skill as a coach, and not just acting like a coach, but really integrating coaching skills to my view of the world and how I interact with others on a daily basis.
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Finding the LIGHT at the end of fear.
The first thing I did was to allow the flood of fear to rush forward, and to allow all the negative, scared voices to speak. My logical mind listened for clues.  I found that  my fear stemmed from a childhood belief.  I survived my early years of my life, by saying exactly what my father wanted to hear.  I learned to read him, and know what he was fishing for, and I gave it to him.  Whenever I’d try to express my fears, or other feelings, he’d tell me that  no one wanted to know how I felt, no one cares.  I would hide my face in my pillow and ball my eyes out.  This way of interacting with others became my pattern and stayed with me for a long time.
Secondly, once I realized that and allowed the pain to release out of me, that means crying and writing for me.  Then I created an affirmation to counter that belief, “People do want to hear what I have to say, and they do care.”  I say this to myself every morning when I wake up and I just lay in bed and say this positive words and allow a feeling of ease to flow through me.
Lastly, I notice when, I want to say something but hesitate, and I realize people might want to or need to hear what I have to say, and that it could be a gift for them.  And so, I courageously speak from my heart as a gift that can be received or respectfully declined.
And so, if you are struggling with fears and limiting beliefs, take a deep breath and release….  I invite you to allow those feelings to flow, listen with compassion to you inner voices, and create a positive practice for yourself, whether it be writing, affirmations, yoga, running, painting, etc.
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Gift yourself with compassion and see how the benefits ripple out through your beautiful soul!