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Feeling Through the Hard Stuff

In this moment, I’m in the shadows, the darkness of the subconsciousness of my mind.  This is the place where my hidden self lives, and I know this.

I feel it, but I can’t bring it forth with conciousness.

What lies in the dark corners of my ego, are the hurt and the pain that was masked by “I’m ok, I can handle this, I’m strong, I can do this!”  A sheer forceful drive, that drove this pain into the darkness in the first place.

But right now, I’m ready.

I’m ready to slowly, and compassionately, give myself the space to naturally allow the fear, the abuse, and the violence to resurface.

NOT to blame, NOT to be the victim, but to RECLAIM my body, my right to take up space, my right to say NO, and not feel like I’m a bad person.

Feeling the hard stuff

When I say NO:

I say YES to my truth, to my soul, to my life.

I say YES to honoring what the past is teaching me

I say YES to honoring my own power now

I say YES to honoring the vision that my anscestors lay before me.

 

This is bigger than what I can see, than what is tangible.  This is what is unseen, unheard, untouched, but deeply felt in to the depths my soul.

Allowing my emotions to flow, while observing it, like a curious scientist, observing an experiment.  Observing without judging myself, observing with compassion, observing with love and nurturing in my heart.

I am embarking on a journey to my truth, where the forest will be thick, dark,  and filled with monsters and demons, all filters of disillusionment from the past.  I will commit to devoting my energy to keep moving forward, because it is my birth right.

What is your birth right you want to reclaim?

 

 

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What impatience taught me

I’m at work and receive an email from a vendor who is confused about the shipping information on my order.  Mind you, I’ve been working with this person for several years and we’ve done this at least a hundred times!

So naturally, I’m irritated 😤 and impatient with this question….. as more work piles.

I begin to notice my impatience, feeling the tension building up from my heart, feeling hostility flowing upward and wanting to fire out through my fingers as I ferociously start to reply.

Then,     I PAUSE.

I take a deep, slow breathe, and inwardly ask, what is creating this feeling of impatience?  Answer: I want to get this done, and move on….

Why?  Answer: Because I want to get all this stuff done, so I don’t have to do it anymore.

Why don’t you want to do it?  Answer: Because I’m not enjoying this!

BAM 💥 INSIGHT!

I’m not enjoying what I’m doing, I’m just getting it done.

But, I choose to spend my time there everyday.  So, if it’s my choice…I can do one of two things, chooose to  spend my time somewhere else, doing something enjoyable,

OR,

I can find what is enjoyable for me right now.

I choose now.  I chose to empower myself in the moment, rather than after this or when …. (fill in the blank)

I chose to free my mind from my own shackles. To enjoy what I can, even from the daily frustrations of life.

Choose to have a choice!IMG_0003

 

 

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The truth about Truth

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Divine guidance from my journal

My branding mentor said this on our call today….

You have to be TRUE to yourself, in order to speak the TRUTH.

Throughout my life I tried to be a honest as I could.  Being true to yourself means saying yes to the things that light you up and no to the things that drain you.  Stop people pleasing, and trying to please everyone else first.

Truth is the soul truth, what’s true in your heart.  

As you go on your life path, your soul is transforming and the truth of who you were before, also changes to the truth of who you are now.  So to honor that, you must be flexible in your thinking and flow with your heart.

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Ever feel like you’re out of place?

“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.” ~ Anais Nin

Sitting at the stop light, waiting for the light to turn green on my way to a job that is less than inspiring, feeling stressed thinking about the day ahead, I see this weed growing out of the concrete sidewalk in the middle of nowhere.

I find myself identifying… with this weed..that I see.

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At times I feel like a weed, an outsider, growing and struggling to survive in a place that is… less than nurturing and less than optimal conditions for me, to thrive in MY own natural ways.. (Maybe that’s why I’m short! Lol)

At times I feel like a weed, growing wildly, so fast, and some seeing my value as useless. Yet, somehow I bring life, oxygen, tenderness, and warmth to a place that is rigid, hard, and cold.

At times I feel like a weed, living….No, SURVIVING! Growing out of the earth, through an environment that is so less than optimal for a young girl. Yet, I survive. I survive the struggle, the toxic pollution, the uncaring passerbys , as I choke and gasp for air, for a reason , for a purpose to live.

Years of life as weed,

growing and flourishing,

I transform into a blooming flower.

with-love-1315347-1279x852All my years
I saw myself as a weed
Growing wildly among strangers
I was a budding flower!
Waiting to reveal my truth
to open my petals
and Blossom

~Stacy Feliciano

 

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What’s the BIG idea about “boundaries”?

natural-boundaries

Having boundaries has become such a buzz nowadays. Some people love boundaries while others believe that it’s not necessary. Thinking about having boundaries can seem, well, uncaring and selfish.

Many articles talk about having healthy boundaries, and to stand up for yourself. If this brings on anxiety, or thoughts that this will make you become unavailable, unsympathetic, and just not caring, then keep reading.

What if boundaries meant that you were honoring someone else’s mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual energy? That by respecting someone else’s thoughts, feelings, space, and beliefs, you have created a golden boundary, built of deep love and respect.

When we embrace the fact that everyone is unique, yet, we are all on this journey together, boundaries naturally arise from a deep source. That source moves through you and nurtures, nourishes and supports the other person’s state being.

So the BIG idea is… boundaries supports us to create deep, meaningful relationships through embracing individuality on all levels, with respect that nourishes our life condition and the vibration we send out into the world.
~from my heart to yours

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Gaining Confidence: Are achievements a good source of confidence?

FullSizeRender 15Here I am struggling with confidence in passing my oral assessment for the PCC level coaching certification.  I’ve worked hard for over a year on my training, practice, integration, and continuous growth on this, not to mention the past 40 something years of experience that brought me to this point of my life.  I’ve always felt in the past, that I wasn’t lacking in confidence, not that I exude confidence in everything I do, it’s just I’ve always just been able to have the courage to move forward to what I wanted to achieve in my life.  But this one is a big one.  I REALLY am passionate, in my heart, to achieve this level of proficiency of coaching.
So here I am pondering my confidence… as I do so, I think about what is really undermining my confidence?  I realize it’s my expectation of what I want the most, to succeed and accomplish my goal. And if I don’t meet my expectation…then…what?
This is THE most crucial part, the part when you fill in the blanks.  These are some of my “fill in the blanks”… If I don’t succeed then…I’m a failure, then I suck, then I’m not good enough, and on and on…the negative self talk.  I realize, this is what causes fear, anxiety, and lack of confidence.
You see… the outcome, success or failure, only tells us what worked well, and what we could do better.  It doesn’t provide the value of who we really are.
INSTEAD of focusing on the outcome, focus on the real work, the process that got you to where you are.
Before getting to that point of success or failure, there was the beginning of that journey, the decision to take on that new project, goal, passion, to take on that new endeavor.  That’s where your courage revealed itself.
As you moved along that journey, your effort, determination, perseverance, passion, courage, creativity, etc. drove you to keep moving toward your vision.  Now don’t you think that’s a more accurate measure of success?!
Imagine a baby learning to walk… does the baby think, I suck at walking,I can’t do this?  NO.  The baby will instinctually get back up and try and try again.
Somewhere along our lives, we learn to bad talk ourselves, and listen to that fearful voice, instead of following our instincts to get back up and keep at it.
As we learn to step into our power, our soul power, that keeps us moving toward our goals, we can’t help but exercise our power from our true value.  Our essence of who we are, manifests into our powerful energy that moves us toward our passions.  The more we move forward, the more we focus on our power, the more we are able to see who we truly are, and that is the source of confidence.
I invite you to reflect on your journey. Reveal the values you live from, and awaken your consciousness and confidence to your truth.
I would love to hear what values you might gain confidence from! ❤
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Stop the Blame Game, Step into Your power

It’s so easy to blame someone else for everything.

I’ve blamed the car that cut me off for getting me upset.  I’ve blamed the rude, inconsiderate customer for making me feel defensive, or my kids for making me feel frustrated because they haven’t taken out the trash or did their homework, or put away their dishes, for the upteenth time! I’ve blamed my husband for not being considerate enough, for being too agreeable, for not understanding me, for not feeling connected.  If you’re like me, that sounds so spot on your life too.

And it goes the other way too…

You’ve been blamed for not caring enough, for not understanding, for not knowing or doing what you “should” have done, etc.

BUT, the worst blame is the one that comes from your own voice.

Our own expectations of how we believe we should and shouldn’t be creates black and white thinking.  This OR that, us OR them, you get the picture.  It starts a snowball of negative thoughts and separation and competition.  Here is where we begin to give our power away.  We allow our emotional energy to be determined by what they are doing, thinking, saying about us.

Making other people’s behavior about you is giving away your power.

We have no control over other people, when we let what they do and say control how we act, we’re allowing those people to control us.  Honoring our own power, or as I like to call it our SOULight is our freedom from this madness.  It’s not control, it’s faith.  For me faith is in the law of causality, the law of cause and effect.  Whatever your faith is, you must have undeniable faith, and allow your mind to release everything, and your heart to feel everything, and LET GO…

Mind you, this does take practice.  And it’s not an easy one at that!  My first gut reaction was, WHAT?  You want me to not have any expectations, how could I live, or get anything done?  I’m not saying to give up your goals or visions, or responsibilities.

I’m just saying, consider GIVING IN to the process.  HONOR that you are on the journey, and continuing on the path that unfolds.

Right now, if you feel it’s right, pause and take a deep breath here, several times, and release….

Our breath can help us create the sensitivity to feel the energy that’s within our bodies, and our souls.  That light, beautiful feeling is our power.  Our power of life, gentleness, compassion, humility, wisdom, and love.

Step into your power of SOULight.  Feel it radiate from your very soul, throughout your body, and out toward all life, and everything that is, in the world.  Let your heart expand, your mind soften, your belly release, your shoulder relax…

 

Respect and honor the SOULight of others, and step into your power, keep it with  you, and  radiate your SOULight as brightly as you can possibly beam.  Honor yourself, fully and completely, as uniquely imperfect human BEings.

BE with love and peace.